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The 3Ps of Listening — Presence, Patience, and Phrasing

Real listening doesn’t happen by accident. It’s an intentional practice that anyone can learn. It's a way of showing up that builds trust, connection, and respect.

Our Listening Essentials Framework can be boiled down to "The 3 Ps of Listening". In this post, you'll learn what the 3 Ps are and how you can improve your listening by putting them top of mind.

Presence: Be Fully Here

You can’t listen if your attention’s scattered across screens, to-do lists, and mental rehearsals of what you’ll say next. Presence starts with grounding yourself in the moment — letting go of the noise so you can actually be with the person in front of you.

Silence the notifications. Take a breath before a conversation begins. Look at the person, not your notes. You might even consider hiding self-view on virtual meetings so you're looking at the camera and not your little square wondering how you look.

Presence says, “You matter enough for me to be here now.”

Patience: Let the Moment Breathe

We live in a fast-talking world. Pauses make people nervous, so we rush to fill them. But patience in listening creates safety — it tells others they have permission to take their time.

This is a tricky one for most leaders, but here are some tips to improve: Try waiting a beat longer than usual before replying. Don’t jump in to finish someone’s sentence. Hold your tongue between your teeth to physically stop yourself from responding. That small stretch of space can turn a guarded exchange into an honest one.

Phrasing: Choose Words That Build Trust

Phrasing is how empathy takes shape in language. It’s the difference between correcting and connecting.

Instead of “That’s not right,” try “I see it differently — can I share why?”
Instead of “You’re overreacting,” try “I can tell this really matters to you.”
The words we choose can open doors or shut them.

Putting It Together

Presence, Patience, and Phrasing work like the rhythm of a good conversation — attention, space, and care. When you bring all three together, people feel something they rarely get in the workplace: truly heard.

The Hidden ROI of Listening

Listening is a strategic, essential leadership skill.

When people feel heard, amazing things happen. They engage more, feel a sense of belonging, and offer their best thinking. They solve problems faster, are more creative, and stick around longer.

The Business Case for Feeling Heard

Listening with presence, patience, and the right phrasing does something to people. It honors their humanity and values their contributions. These are the elements of resilient teams built on a foundation of trust. With high rates of turnover and low engagement, this simple skill is one of the best ways to build a strong and healthy culture in your organization.

Three Ways to Put Listening Into Action:

In Feedback: Ask, “What support would help you move forward?” instead of “Here’s what to fix.”
In Meetings: Rotate voices. Acknowledge contributions. Start with someone who rarely speaks first.
In Conflict: Reflect what you’ve heard before responding. It lowers defensiveness and restores safety.

The Real Return

Listening creates alignment, not because you agree on everything, but because people trust that their voice counts.

That kind of culture doesn’t just feel better — it works better.

Listening Under Pressure: How to Stay Present When Time Is Tight

Let’s be honest — most leaders don’t avoid listening because they don’t care. They avoid it because they’re exhausted. There’s too much to do, too little time, and not enough quiet.

But here’s the truth: when pressure is highest, people need your presence most.

The Cost of Rushing

When you move too fast and too furiously, you get caught up in stress responses. The result? Empathy gets left behind. The people you interact with start holding back — not because they don’t have ideas, but because they’ve already sensed you’re too busy to hear them.

How to Stay Present When Everything Feels Urgent

Start small. Before you join a meeting, take one slow breath. Remind yourself: I’m here now.
Be transparent. If you’re distracted, name it: “I’m juggling a few things today, but I want to give you my focus.”
Protect a moment. Even ten minutes of undivided attention can change how someone feels about their work.
Use silence wisely. The pause after someone finishes speaking is where meaning lives.

Presence doesn’t require an empty calendar — just an intentional mindset.

When you can offer that, even for a few minutes, people walk away lighter. They stop performing and start connecting.

The Leadership Skill AI Can’t Replace

AI can perform any number of tasks to make work go faster and smoother: summarize your meetings, analyze data, draft outlines, create presentations, sort data.

But something it can't do is feel the tension in the room, sense disappointment in someone’s tone, or recognize the courage it takes for an employee to speak up. Those are human skills that technology can't stand in and do for you.

That’s why listening is still — and will always be — a leader’s superpower.

The Human Edge

When you fully tune in as a listener, you pick up on what’s unspoken — the hesitation, the sigh, the story behind the numbers.

Those cues are the heartbeat of leadership, and ways to humanize your workplace. They show you where people need reassurance, clarity, or care.

Listening as Leadership

Listening is leadership in motion. a skill needed in the expected and unexpected moments.

It shapes decisions, builds trust, and keeps communication grounded in humanity — even in a high-tech world.

Bring a personal touch to all you do, regardless of technological breakthroughs and revolutions. Ask simple, open-ended questions like “What do you need from me right now?” or "How might we do this differently next time?"

That’s the kind of intelligence no algorithm can replicate.

The Listening Room Blog:

Where All Are Heard

Episode 1- Heard: Conversations About Listening